He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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