I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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