We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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