dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
