Just fell off a train. Bad.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
