Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
