the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
His nipple licking is glorious
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