Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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