just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
