If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
