You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
