you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
