Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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