I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
