Life is so much better after having sex.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
