Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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