i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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