i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
