sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
