Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize