just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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