Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
