WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
