If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
