Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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