It's Friday. Sex?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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