Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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