You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
