you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
