Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
