Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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