it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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