at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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