turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
