I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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