Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
