NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
