we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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