happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
