Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
