make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
