Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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