I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
