She's JV to your varsity
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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