Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
