I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
