Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Come see our sink grown plant.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am naked and annoyed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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