The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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