Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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