Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
