That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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