I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
