I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
