Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize