The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
