Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
