Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
