Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
