I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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