He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
