I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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