the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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