dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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