Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
