so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
