whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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