I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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