You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
