Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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