i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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