It's like God shit irony all over that family
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
