Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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