lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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